December 2011
Hell
I simply cannot sleep when I know that I can have it all back in just a few days. I can have all the lies back, all the emptiness, all of it. With you by my side.
Doesn't even matter if we're not
What a horrible head ache, what a horrible heart I have. I want us walking on the same path in the woods, talking things through, agreeing that we’re fine.
But
One thing I would like to let go was the day he lied “I will never leave you” and we both cried in my bed.
Stains
I was the happiest on his birthday, when I surprised him with a candle in a cupcake and he kissed me. Or when he kissed me by the water on the hill and looked at me as if we were in a dream, asking “Do you feel it too? Is it real?”.
You hold on to those things because they were pictures painted with happiness. Even though they fed the pain all this time. I never let them go, I never...
You loved after me
I had to take a bath afterwards and as I was looking at the water running out of the tap I felt the pain and the happiness was too overwhelming, I had to close the tap so I could hear my thoughts.
“I felt at home with you,” I wanted to say. “I always did, in your arms. Is that too big of me to say?” And then “How could you do that to me? Did it hurt you as well, even...
March 2011
The only real thing about us now is the pain
November 2010
September 2010
“I know you’re not lying. I’m deceiving myself.”